You can't kill a good thing, folks, and here are the revised Lincolnton Truth
comments as promised. I'm sorry for the delay. I've been busy with my homepage and with the screensaver projects, but I'm glad to see that so
many of you have been enjoying the MESSAGE BOARD.
Traffic
I've driven through "rush
hours" in Washington, Houston, Atlanta and Charlotte. None of these are as bad
as Lincolnton, considering its population, from 3:00 to 6:00 on a weekday afternoon.
After the day shift ends at the local mills, the roads quickly escalate into a
driving nightmare. No rules. No courtesy. NO PATIENCE. It has all
the makings of a road-rage sandwich, baby... and guess what? You're
the liver mush.
Lowes
We recently got a new Lowe's Home Improvement Center to replace the one across town.
Bigger store. Same bad service.
I would, however, like to get my
hands on one of those magical black back support belts the employees wear. Whenever
you are buying large items, the magic belts make the employees disappear.
It's really incredible! Why would they ever even NEED a back support belt ?
...And where the hell is that
"Gardening Specialist" they talk about on TV? ...
"Excuse me, I need some help selecting flowers"
"Flars is over dare"
"...and some landscaping accessories"
"The timbers is over dare. You need a price check?
Bubba, I need a price check on dem lambskate timbers!"
"Could you at least load them on my truck for me?"
"I would, but it's just me, Bubba, Travis, Stumpy and
Leon out here today. The trainee called in to go to the race.
Damn kids. Can't get nothin' out of 'em, know wut I mean?"
Bar-B-Que King
Bar-B-Que King is the only place in town to get a Poor Boy sandwich that's
made correctly. No place else has a clue. Sometimes, the place gets
a bit hectic during "rushes" but otherwise, they are the best at what they do.
It would be best for
them to split the carry-out sales off into a separate business in a different building.
Their odd parking lot can't always handle the lunch rush.
Timken
People that work at Timken (Iron Station) are
NOT rich. It's just a factory. They make bearings, not missiles. You'd be amazed at some of the outsider
perceptions of that place.
Fine Dining
There is NO PLACE in Lincolnton to
get a good steak or salad! Save yourself the disappointment and drive to Hickory or
Gastonia,
just be careful about returning your uncooked steak at Outback in Hickory.
If you see a new fast food place pop up, go
ahead and enjoy it for the first month THEN NEVER GO BACK AGAIN. The new Arby's
probably has the slowest service of any place in town. Totally unacceptable! Come
on, it's ROAST BEEF! It's ALREADY COOKED! Their food is fine, but definitely
not worth the wait. Speed it up or shut it down!
And, is it ALWAYS "siesta time" at the Taco Bell?
We now have TWO Burger
Kings and if we put them both together, we still couldn't make one good one.
A Hole Full of A**holes.
The town has quickly become
a melting pot of nationalities and races, and that's fine, but we've exceeded our a**hole
quota by at least 10,000. At least 90 of them are distributed equally among the
retail and food service sectors.
Wally World
It's obvious that Lincolnton's Wal-mart
doesn't have intelligence requirements when hiring cashiers. They're not all idiots,
but Wal-mart should get some kind of tax break for hiring so many.
Traffic Lights
Just three more stoplights
and we'll actually have ONE for every citizen. Maybe they'll let us name them.
The Lincoln Times
The Lincoln Times-News.
Same news, different issue. It almost seems as if they re-run obituaries to fill
space.
Really. There's nothing there. The sweet little hometown stories seem
forced, there's an overabundance of advertising, and most of the loyal readers
are just there out of habit.
Shut Up and Drink Your Bud
After years of failed votes,
"Liquor-by-the-Drink" finally passed last year and, no, it won't bring crime,
drugs, and prostitution to Lincoln County. They've been here for ages.
It's funny how so many have
protested its passing, but they kept their mouths shut about the state run liqour store
being at the busiest intersection in town. But, then again, that is how most of
the little bubbas learned what they would of the alphabet. (The various numbered
"Hoyle's" gas stations probably helped them learn to count, whenever Paw would
stop for a Moon Pie).
It also won't revitalize the town. There's just not enough here to attract
major restaurants and businesses to Lincolnton. You're ten years too late.
Gastonia and Hickory are already booming and there's no need for the town in the middle to
become a stopping place when heading to one or the other.
Oh well, at least it turned Emma's into a Sports Bar. Maybe next we can get
"ITS" to pre-booze the SetUps for us.
Closed on Sunday
The town still virtually shuts
down on Sunday. It's no longer out of respect for religion. It's just a
routine. Break it.
A lot of citizens work 6 days a week or various 12 hour shifts, and we need this town
open on Sunday or we can take our business elsewhere.
Who ya gonna call?
Phone Service Rule: If
you can't throw a rock to the place you are trying to call, IT'S LONG DISTANCE.
...And it's time for BellSouth to get up off their butts and update the phone lines
in the less-than-wealthy parts of the county. We're still essentially using the
two-cans-and- a-string method, making decent internet access an impossibility.
Death by Boo-boo...
Lincoln Medical Center
- our local "hospital". Go in with a broken toe, come out in a body bag.
This is a poorly managed health care facility with the worst Emergency Room I've ever
encountered.
One more thing... check your hospital bill VERY CAREFULLY.
They've tried re-modeling the place to fool us, but don't be fooled. The place
has more burnouts than a drag strip.
Pizza Hut
We have a Pizza Hut
in Lincolnton. We've hidden it very carefully somewhere off of Main Street.
It's an ongoing contest. If you find it... YOU LOSE!
If the corporation that owns Pizza Hut has any pride in their company, they'll rip
the franchise rights from the current owners and build a new one either near WalMart or
near the new 321 bridge. The one we currently have has a history of
sanitation problems and poor quality.
Something Fishy
Where in the bible does it say
that you can't buy fried fish on Sunday?
On the subject of "fish
camps", Fox's is the only one that knows how to make tartar sauce
and red sauce (not everyone agrees with me on this, but I like it and it's MY page, so get
over it.) Now, if they could just learn how to keep their prices down. Their
seafood is okay, but their prices keep climbing. If I'm going to pay that
much for seafood, I might as well go to Red Lobster and get a little atmosphere, too.
Schoolin'
The Lincoln County School
System: Don't even get me started! Oh well, too late. Here it
goes...
There ARE a few good teachers out there, but they're outnumbered now by
burned-out, undertrained instructors who just don't care anymore. I know what
they're up against; unruly, undisciplined children and a low (but not THAT low) salary.
GET OVER IT! Teaching is a profession that should only be chosen by those who LOVE
to teach and cherish the
reward of helping to build a better future, no matter what obstacles they may face.
WEATHER CONDITIONS THAT WILL CLOSE LINCOLN COUNTY SCHOOLS FOR THE DAY.
- Heavy snow, light snow, predicted snow, rumors of snow,
flurries, flurry (singular), and feathers flying off a
chicken truck.
- Wet rain.
- 90 Degrees or higher temperature. (Hmm...that must be
why the school year begins in EARLY August...)
I-deers
Good Idea: The demolition of
our McDonald's.
BAD IDEA: The reconstruction of our McDonald's.
Good Idea: Staple's Office
Store, which is open evenings and
weekends when REAL people need it.
BAD IDEA: King's Office Supply is STILL open, which surely must be some sort of miracle.
Pack it up, kids. The party's over, unless you're ready to better
accommodate the rest of the town, instead of just law offices and businesses.
I would have cut King's a little slack but, due the actions of certain individuals, I
personally can't wait for this to be another empty building, professionally decorated by
Cobwebs R' Us.
Good Idea: These
mega-turbo gas stations that keep popping up. Their gas prices are always the
lowest.
BAD IDEA: If you're on the opposite side of the road, it's
not worth the savings to try to get to one of them.
Good Idea: Lincolnton still has an
old fashioned bowling alley that really hasn't changed much over the years.
BAD IDEA: It's really hard to bowl with the whiplash you get from the 732 speedbumps
in the parking lot.
Odds and Ends
I can't really say anything
bad about the food at Wendy's. It used to be pretty good, but I
stopped eating there when they built a brick wall in front of the drive-thru window.
The first time I saw this, I was looking around for the hidden camera and waiting for
Peter Funk or Suzanne Somers to jump out and tell me to "Smile".
Whatever you call it... downtown,
uptown...TEAR IT DOWN and start all over again. Lincolnton's known for
having some of the toughest building inspectors in the state when it comes to private
residences, but we leave these crumbling structures up and down main street. I asked
one of the original builders of some of the main street stores and offices, whether or not
his buildings were still safe after all these years. The only answer I could get
was..."yabba-dabba-doo". I'm not sure what that means.
Lincolnton also badly needs
an ordinance that requires any retail building that is unoccupied for more than three
years be demolished. Stop letting these owners continue to write these
buildings off as financial losses, when they make no effort to find new occupants.
WLON 1050 AM - Our
local radio station once served as the main source of up-to-date local information and
school closings. Time has not been a friend to the little AM stations around the
country. The music format on WLON is fine, (I enjoy the oldies) but I get the same
music with better sound and brighter personalities on MAGIC
96.1 FM.
In respect of its regular listeners, I'll refrain from saying anything bad about
WLON, because I don't want all 17 of you mad at me.
Don't get me wrong. There's still a lot to
love about this town....but there's a lot less than there once was. Many have called
this page "mean-spirited", but I believe it fills a void. It's the other
side of the coin. There are plenty of "nice" pages about Lincolnton. We
certainly didn't need another one.
Everything here is my own personal opinion, but it's an opinion shared by many. Comments
are welcome here.
Robert F. Abernethy
http://rats.50megs.com
http://screenloot.envy.nu
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